Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
