i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
