Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
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