yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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