Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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