did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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