new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
