Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
