I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
