just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
