Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
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Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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