I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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