I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
