the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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