Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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