I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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