omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Your dad touched me again.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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