I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Green mimosas i think yes
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Alive.
So much puke
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
