They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
