Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
