Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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