after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
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I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
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Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
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