I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there