How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
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Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.