Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.

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  (313) 1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head. http://tfl.nu/u795
  Replies (0) Good night (1739) Bad night (786)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up

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  (413): so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up http://tfl.nu/rtem
  Replies (23) Good night (3733) Bad night (606)
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  (805): View more from California

  bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...

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  (805): bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad... http://tfl.nu/qw8q
  Replies (45) Good night (3245) Bad night (565)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!

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  (863): Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!! http://tfl.nu/werm
  Replies (9) Good night (974) Bad night (1992)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.

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  (304): he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding. http://tfl.nu/d3lt
  Replies (26) Good night (6160) Bad night (851)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.

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  (651): Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you. http://tfl.nu/jbfy
  Replies (28) Good night (9119) Bad night (1440)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper

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  (803): we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper http://tfl.nu/mqbh
  Replies (13) Good night (5777) Bad night (2168)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.

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  (740): His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them. http://tfl.nu/w51l
  Replies (21) Good night (3850) Bad night (1094)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.

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  (303): dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered. http://tfl.nu/j70b
  Replies (10) Good night (7802) Bad night (1194)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me

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  (719): I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me http://tfl.nu/in6y
  Replies (3) Good night (2063) Bad night (907)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.

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  (434): This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened. http://tfl.nu/f3s1
  Replies (4) Good night (2309) Bad night (1216)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up

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  (814): Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up http://tfl.nu/ova6
  Replies (3) Good night (514) Bad night (1464)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.

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  (316): Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip. http://tfl.nu/kzaf
  Replies (2) Good night (1929) Bad night (550)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car

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  (803): Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car http://tfl.nu/8fhk
  Replies (6) Good night (1156) Bad night (560)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.

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  (914): Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever. http://tfl.nu/0i96
  Replies (1) Good night (875) Bad night (419)

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