nutella sex= disaster
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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