Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Vodka?
Forever.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
