She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You made out with two different species that night
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
