i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I feel like abortions should bother me more
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It's rum buckets o'clock
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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