I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
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