I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!