I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot