I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
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He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
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I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!