I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
from now on my penis is your penis
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I smell like Dick and happiness
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