I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
