can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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