I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
