Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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