I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
