dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
