Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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