you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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