I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
