I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
