Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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