I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
