I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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