I'm lost and stupid without you.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize