Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I think I won the penis lottery.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
