Old men and throwing up are my life now.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
