You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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