What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
