I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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