We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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