why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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