Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
