Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
