hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He kissed a someone with a penis
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize