How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
