ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
