3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
