After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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