Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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