this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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