My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
