He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
