my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
me + whiskey = a bad person
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
