Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It's never too late to be topless.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Randomize
