sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
