I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
