STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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