We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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