But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
